the paperback badass

i like you

He felt like everything I’ve ever wanted, everything I’ve ever accidentally wished for, accidentally because I was never really made to feel like I deserved anything, right?

But I’d like to think I deserve him,

his kindness, his clobbering hugs in the morning, his overthinking when I’m not near him , his hair when it falls on his breath taking eyes and his loud uncontrollable laugh because he knows sadness all too well.

I fell in love with him, because there was no way I couldn’t,

no way I could let him down, no way I could dim the light in his eyes when they lit up looking at my face. I fell in love with how gently his hands moved through my hair while he held me mesmerised in his gaze. I fell in love with how his face never settled into those hard lines I was so used to seeing on my father’s, no matter how difficult life would become.

But what I really think I fell for was how he would say ‘I like you’ every time he wanted to say ‘I love you’ and how even his unsaid, I could always understand.

Six word stories #3

The 2021 birthday wish! ~ “More wisdom, more wine, more wins.”

Today on ‘six word stories‘, a modern-day birthday wish! Also, wishing you less wounds, less weaknesses and less weight-gain!

I would absolutely love to hear your six word stories in the comments, so feel free to give it a try and don’t forget to tell me how you liked mine!

Here’s the prompt I’ve used~

I’m going to be using prompts from http://www.Kelsye.com

Happy reading!

LITTLE BLACK DRESS

The little worn down wooden canopy at the end of the steps lead to the old terrace, and as my pointed heels clanked across the threshold, it felt like the world was suddenly at my feet because after so long, you were finally by my side.
The rugged feel of your stubble and your mischievously discheveled hair was exactly as I remembered, but the sweet smell of alcohol on your breath was new and your slightly intoxicated eyes gave away the misery you usually managed to hide well.

Your stories seemed to flow like a river, punctuated often with poignantly exchanged glances and bouts of attractive laughter that had by then become a rarity in my life.
We stood there for hours, your heavy breath, nestling words of passionate despair into my ears, as the winds gently slapped strands of hair against my slightly damp eyes that were burdened with layers of memories, mascara and kohl.

Your calloused, warm hands gently twirled me around, our dance defying the pace of the tempest music that played somewhere in the background and once again I found myself falling deeper in love with you as every minute passed.

The sky had transformed into the most expensive painting, the clouds swirling in a palette of exquisite colors, Your eyes tracing my curves in a little black dress I had borrowed from my best friend and your body pushing the arch of my back perfectly against the low railing. Though it had been so long, it felt like we had never been apart.

the thrill of your chase

I didn’t fall in love with you for those mundane reasons that everyone had for falling in love with you, for the way your curly hair fell on your perfectly arched eyebrows or for the way you flashed your dimple to get out of talking about your feelings or even how your serene body looked every morning after the sun woke you up

I fell in love with you because I grew up turning the pages of every love story, searching for a raging love like yours,

I fell in love with your twisted mind, for the tantalising tricks you played on me that pushed me to the brink of insanity but nothing ever made me feel more alive again,

I fell in love with the thrill of your chase and for the pleasure of finally being called yours.

A doctor’s journal

I managed to secure the Bipap mask tightly, double checking for air leaks and prayed that this would be enough to stabilise his saturation long enough to restart his failing heart.

This is from my first morning shift in the covid ward~ I walked in at 8.02 or 8.05, practically on time, donning the all white PPE suit, but as soon as I entered the high dependency unit, my superiors shouted to me from the other side of the room to hurry in and give them a hand. It was an 80 year old patient who was crashing, he tested positive after coming in to the ER with complaints of a heart attack. His saturation plummets to the mid 70s as the nursing staff hurriedly fix the ECG probes onto his chest. I managed to secure the Bipap mask tightly, double checking for air leaks and prayed that this would be enough to stabilise his saturation long enough to restart his failing heart.

Fortunately, he could be revived after a gruelling hour of employing desperate measures that were however, unable to save a younger patient on the adjacent bed.
On one of my rounds the following day, I noticed the nurses helping him video call his son and wife. Tears rolled down his cheek on the first glimpse of his family.

I met with his attendants later, suggesting to them to write a letter, something he could keep bedside, read and reread while he fought desperately to return home to his young grandchildren.
The next morning, letter in hand, I walked into the ward, the first good news I could deliver to a patient in a while.

the first good news I could deliver to a patient in a while.

He folded his hands when I told him that his family was waiting for him and that they had sent a message through me. I watched tears pool in his eyes as he folded his hands again when my words had concluded. I noticed he slept clutching the letter the next few days.

I’ve been posted out of the ward since; into the war room instead. His attendants call several times each day, praying their father makes it out of the lion’s den, I silently pray too. A week later, he seems to be stable enough during video rounds to no longer require intensive care.
I smile as I rub off his name from the HDU board and initiate the shift to the private ward. Ofcourse, amidst the 80-100 patients in the ward, there’s no way for me to know if he made his way back home, but it’s the light at the end of the tunnel I’ve been searching for.

The ‘You’re Not Good Enough Book’ Tag

I found this really crafty book-tag, so what you have to do is: Write down the names of 10 characters on paper chits, put them in a bowl, and choose two at random for every question. There are 5 questions in this tag. Read the questions and choose which between the two champions is more suitable and which one of them isn’t ‘good enough‘

I wanted to choose characters that were strong, unique and had a great presence in the novel. I also wanted cover a span of multiple genres. It was so exciting to think of the many characters I grew up falling in love with and handpicking the best amongst the best!

This tag was created by ReadLikeWildfire and Beccathebookreviewer.

You’ve been chosen for the Hunger Games, who would most likely volunteer in your place?

HERMOINE GRANGER or NEWT

Newt from Maze Runner, if I had to guess. He’s one of the nicest characters I’ve come across in any book and seems like just the person who’d volunteer to get killed, if need be.

Both characters want to kill you, which one would you kill first so you have a better chance of surviving?

AMY ELLIOTT DUNNE or PEETA MELLARCK

Amy Elliott Dunne, from Gone girl. Her mind games are no competition infront of whatever physical feat Peeta would plan. I’d be no match for Amy’s trickery.

You’re on the ‘bachelor/bachelorette’ and you’re down to these two characters, which one are you going to give your rose too?

WILLY WONKA or JAY GATSBY

Jay Gatsby from The Great Gatsby. He’s the gentlest of gentlemen, wise,patient, wealthy and now, the man of my dreams!

You’ve just finished a book in which your favorite character dies, which character is most likely to comfort you?

MR. DARCY or SHERLOCK HOLMES

Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice. He is the ultimate aloof romantic hero. No matter how snobbish he gets, he would always help the ‘damsel in distress‘. Sherlock Holmes doesn’t strike me as the comforting type anyway.

Sleepover time! Unfortunately you can only invite one person, who would you invite?

ANASTASIA STEELE or ELIZABETH GILBERT

Elizabeth Gilbert from Eat, Pray, Love. I’d spend most of the night listening to her many, many experiences while traveling to Italy, India and Bali, even order in some pizza! (We know she’s a fan!)

Had the most fun doing this tag, highly recommend! I’d love suggestions of more interesting characters for the next round! Dont forget to comment below with what characters you’d go with it or what choices you would have made differently 💕

Is free will real or just an illusion?

a dilemma, to believe in karma -‘what goes around comes around’- or que sera sera- ‘whatever will be, will be‘

Free will means that human beings possess the power of acting without the constraint or guidance of fate. However, atheists make claims about fourth dimensions and superior beings, religious fanatics about Gods and their power –challenging that everything is pre-determined, making it impossible for anything else to happen.

My parents raised me to believe that your choices in life ultimately decides where you end up, that no success is handed to you till you pay your dues. As no two people share the same genetic material, no two people look at the world same, share similar thought processes or decision-making, leading to the diversification of personas seen in the 7 billion people co-existing. Every relationship-personal or professional– is a product of your emotional understanding, endurance and effort, no work goes unrewarded, i.e. Life is fair. Your free will determines your fate, and the power is in your hands.

We also need to take in account that we are dealt unequal cards in the game of life, some are born into richer families and others, birthed in a mount of debt; some are blessed with angelic parents, while some are orphaned. Though we share some commonality, we are ultimately broken through disparate traumas and some have it harder than the others with the odds they face at far disadvantage. If free will doesn’t exist, what is the deciding factor in this unequal distribution of fates?

If free will doesn’t exist, what is the deciding factor in this unequal distribution of fates?

However, I do recall my mother saying, at every bad turn of my life that, ‘Everything happens for a reason.’ In those difficult years, I’d fight back the premise, enveloped in a cynical view of the world. However, the perspective that I had struggled to gain was that, ‘everything happens for a reason’ does not mean that every life-altering event will be happy, but merely that it needs to be life altering. A person undergoes the good and the bad phases of their life to procure experiences, which in turn adds a value to your mind space that was ultimately necessary for you to learn. Owing to that, it has managed to resonate with such a wide audience, reminding them of the evolutionary purpose of pain– to teach you what is not good for you. In this way, I feel that free will is an illusion, and the situations you are to face in life, pre-determined.

‘everything happens for a reason’ does not mean that every life-altering event will be happy, but merely that it needs to be life altering.

For me, it has been a dilemma, to believe in karma -‘what goes around comes around’- or que sera sera- ‘whatever will be, will be‘- and growing up I’ve seen my fair share of examples that stand behind each of these sentiments. If someone asked me at gunpoint, I’d say that free will exists – we independently are to be blamed or praised for our downfalls and accomplishments, yet sometimes a guardian angel seems to be looking over, forcing us on short detours, maybe to equip us with the knowledge, experience and strength that nudge us to take informed, intelligent life decisions in the right direction.

Six word stories #2

“Wasn’t losing myself enough for you?”

Love is a powerful emotion, a fickle foe. It can be our strongest motivator or our biggest downfall. In either case, its impact on our lives are drastic, and sometimes, irreversible. Those who are lucky revel in the glory of true love and the others callously fall ‘head over heels’ for people that leave them lamenting in the wake of their sacrifices, needs, hopes and dreams.

I would absolutely love to hear your six word stories in the comments, so feel free to give it a try and don’t forget to tell me how you liked mine!

Here’s the prompt I’ve used~

Happy reading!

‘Would you rather’ favourites

I ‘curated’ fourteen of my ‘would you rather‘ favorites and berated my best friend – She’s 23, a ‘friends’ enthusiast, and an overachiever- into answering them. Hope you enjoy this peak into her wonderful mind!

Would you rather spend twenty days locked in a psychiatric ward or a circus tent?

Psychiatric ward because circus tents would get boring sooner!

Would you rather have a rewind button or a pause button on your life?

Rewind for sure! I’d go back to the ‘honeymoon’ period of my relationship, or to times where I made my happiest memories. ‘Pausing’ my problems won’t fix them anyway.

Would you feel worse if no one showed up to your wedding or to your funeral?

I’d feel worse if no one showed up to my funeral! I mean, sure, don’t come to my wedding, Ill end up saving a fortune! As long as my funeral is jam packed!

Would you rather be proposed to in private or in front of family and friends?

With a lot of real life experiences to help me answer this question, I’d say I like my privacy. I’m not good at surprises, I’m still learning to get better at reacting!

Would you rather have nosy neighbors or noisy neighbors?

Noisy! So I can be nosy!

Would you rather have an unlimited gift certificate to a restaurant or a clothing store?

Clothing, I’d give fashion bloggers a run for their money!

Would you rather be on a survival reality show or dating game show?

I wouldn’t survive 2 days in a survival reality show! Also, with a dating show, i’m shooting two birds with one stone, I’m getting a free date every night!

Would you rather be able to take back anything you say or hear every conversation about you?

Take back anything I say, so that I at least control my own reaction to what people in front of me, rather than beating myself up with things that people say behind my back

Would you rather be a character in a mystery thriller or a romantic comedy?

Romantic comedy, so that my fictional character gets her love story and I could try to figure out the mystery of what he liked in me!

Would you rather be the first person to explore a planet or be the inventor of a drug that cures a deadly disease?

In the present day scenario, everyone’s answer should be the inventor of a cure for a deadly disease!

Would you rather have the details of your financial life or your love life be made public?

Love life, I mean, I’ve grew up watching my favorite celebrities, learning about love from them and their relationships. Maybe someone would benefit from my stories!

Would you rather Experience the beginning of planet earth or the end of planet earth?

I don’t like the end of anything, and at the beginning of our existence, I’d love help earth begin.

Be the person who flips the switch during executions or be the judge who decides who should be executed?

I know i could change the justice system , if it was put into my hands, and introduce a new sense of morality under my jurisdiction.

Would you rather release your diary or a film of your most embarrassing moment?

A film, rather than my whole,very personal and controversial diary. As less exploitable information to the public as possible!

Six word stories #1

“His lips tasted like burnt cigarettes.”

I’ve been fascinated with the concept of ‘six word stories‘ and the thought that goes into producing a narrative so short yet positively brimming with meaning.

I would absolutely love to hear your six word stories in the comments, so feel free to give it a try and don’t forget to tell me how you liked mine!

Here’s the prompt I’ve used~

Happy reading!